Wow..today I am officially another year older. I have a lot of changes to look forward to this year, hears to hoping I adjust well to them all!!
At the age I am now, I had kinda thought a motherhood wasn't going to be in the cards for me, and I was for the most part beginning to be ok with that. I really had embraced being childless and single over the last months prior to my surprising news.
Now as I lay here in bed and feel by baby girl do what feels like somersaults in my stomach, and I am also trying to grasp the concept of whats to come. I would be lying to you if I told you I was 100 percent confident in my ability to be a excellent parent. Worry seems to be a part of my everyday thoughts. I wonder if I will say the right things, act the right way around her, expose her to positive influences all the time, build up her self esteem, i wonder if other people will be mindful of her self esteem, and try to be positive influences, and if they don't what will I do. There are so many unknowns. I'm sure that I'm not the only new parent that has ever felt this way.So as the weeks progress and baby girl continues to do flips and kicks...and my body grows to accommodate her, I hope that I begin to feel more secure in my abilities, and I will start to worry less.
None the less, I am thrilled at the idea of having a little princess, a sidekick and hopefully a future best friend. I get so excited about Disney on ice, and princess themed bday parties, and dresses and shoes, and hair accessories ( maybe she won't like all those things, don't worry I'm ok with that :). I wonder will she like to dance, or sing...will she be compassionate towards others...what will she be, what will she look like. So many questions and much much much anticipation.
Again..I never thought at my age I'd be looking at motherhood for the first time. I feel so blessed, and I wouldn't change it for anything in the world.
